Insanity

I sliced open my wound again...sharp blade cutting through my scarred skin....a tiny thick droplet oozed from a corner of my line...followed by another and then another...making an angry red line.

then that warm sticky liquid flowed down my palm.I can not hear the sound of that dropping on the floor.but I could smell it...I'll have to wipe clean the mess later...

Yes It hurts...I can feel it.it's better than nothing...atleast I feel the pain.I thought how would it feel if I cut deep.until I cut through a vein.but I'm not suiciding.hell no!
I was planning to die slowly,but that didn't work.I can't starve myself to death.I'm too weak...

Why do you slice open you over and over again?are you sick?are you sadistic?

No.but I think Pain helps a little.I hate you...and I tortue myself.pain reminds me why I hate you.
And I hate you because you are the reason for my pain.Though I do it myself,you are the reason.
Then I love you...and I cut myself because my love for you is so strong.it hurts.my chest hurts,can not hold it...and my wounds hurt.and it's because of you...

I think I'm unstable.I think I'm insane.

I pressed my wrist tight,welcoming the pain...

I could see the little red pool I created near my feet.but I can only feel the blood flowing from the wounds in my heart...

Pain....always It's better than nothing...





(don't panick.lol.I wrote this on my way home!was near Udawalawa.well Rajagala was amazing!will tell u about it later!mwah!)